What is love? Part II

The following passage on love is a favorite at most weddings:

"Love is patient; love is kind.

Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited;

does not act improperly; is not selfish;

is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs;

finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things."

Some people are surprised to learn that this beautiful passage is from the Bible.  Actually, it is an excerpt from an entire chapter of the Bible, referred to by some as "The Love Chapter" (chapter 13 in the book of I Corinthians), with this excerpt being the most popular portion of the chapter spoken at weddings.  Despite being in the Bible, this passage is so popular that I've not only heard it read aloud at non-Christian weddings, but even at weddings where neither spouse is a believer in God.

I thinks it's great that this passage is so popular even at these kinds of weddings.  But I wonder if either marriage partner actually thinks that he/she believes they can be consistent at living out more than a couple of these characteristics over a long period, especially if the true source of love - God's spirit, or the Holy Spirit - isn't living within them?  So although it's nice for a couple getting married and their audience to learn about the characteristics of what true love really is, living it out is very difficult - even for Christians.

In my previous post on this topic, I mentioned near the end how true love is choosing to stick with and support a person and deciding to serve the needs of that person.  In other words, it is a selfless act of service to another person, even when it's inconvenient and even painful.  Now I didn't just pull these observations out of thin air.  "The Love Chapter" is but a small taste of what the "Book of Love", i.e. the Bible, has to say on this subject.  So no, I'm not some kind of 'love guru', but I'm merely relating concepts recorded in God's word (the Bible) by the source or originator of love, God Himself.

So where am I going with all of this?  Well, since the Bible is authored by the source of love (men did the actual writing, but God revealed to them what they should write), then it should contain the best and most comprehensive examples of what true love is and how we should live it out - whether we're believers in God or not.  In other words, what's the point of having a passage read like the one above on a wedding day with no follow-up on what it is and how to live it out?  An understanding of this could save many marriages from disaster.

I'm sure most people have heard the phrase, "God is love" (I John 4:8), and the Bible is filled with examples that prove this.  Here is what God's Son, Jesus Christ, has to say about the ultimate gift of love to mankind:

"For God loved the world in this way:  He gave His Only and Only Son [Jesus Christ], so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish [spiritually] but have eternal life."  (John 3:16)

So God's gift of love to us is being able to live forever simply by believing in the One He sent to earth for us, His Son Jesus Christ.  One definition I've heard of "believing in" is putting the full weight of your trust in someone or something, in this case in Jesus Christ in order to save you from the penalty of your sins:  eternal punishment/damnation.

But later on in the same book of the Bible, John's Gospel, Jesus gave a command to his disciples during the last meal He ate with them before his crucifixion:

"This is My command:  love one another as I have loved you.  No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.  You are My friends if you do what I command you."  (John 15:12-14)

There's so much that Jesus tells us about His love for mankind in this passage, but the main thing is that the greatest act of love one can do is to die for someone else.  We've all heard this in many love songs and poems, but it's one thing to tell someone you'll die for them and entirely another to actually do it!  Well, Jesus actually did it, but not just for the sake of those disciples that He was eating with at the time, but for the sake of everyone who has ever lived.

By voluntarily being nailed to a Roman cross and dying for the sake of all humanity, Jesus performed the greatest act of love in history.  I'm sure that other people throughout history have sincerely given their lives in order to save the lives of others, but only Jesus' death meant something beyond this life:  if Jesus didn't die in our place to pay the penalty of our sins, NOBODY would be acceptable before a perfect, holy God and therefore nobody but Jesus would be able to enjoy an eternity with God after their bodily death.  Jesus' death was the fulfillment of God's love for humanity.  There is certainly no better example of sacrificial love than this!

Now that we know what true love really is and who the source of it is, let's relate this to how we should live it out while here on earth.

As I alluded to before, a person is truly incapable of loving another person apart from the help of God's Holy Spirit living within them.  And the Holy Spirit only comes to live within a person once they've been cleaned or forgiven by God.  How is this done?  Again, believing in Jesus to forgive you of our sins is all it takes:  no religious rituals, no regular church attendance, no amount of trying to be clean or perfect, no amount of giving or serving.  If you've done all this and not asked Jesus to forgive you of your sins, you'll be one of the flabbergasted and horrified try-hards that Jesus describes in Matthew 7:21-23!

So does this mean that only Christians - those with the Holy Spirit living within them - are capable of expressing true love?  No, but it's a whole lot harder to express it without Him living within you!  I guess my real point here is that Christians have a much better understanding of true love because they've read many examples in the Bible of what this is and how to live it out.  I'm not saying that Christians are much better at living it out - God knows how selfish people professing to be Christians have withheld love and even harmed others throughout history.  I'm just saying that Christians should know better because they've been exposed to so many teachings about it.

Even if you're a non-Christian or non-believer, learning to better express true love to others involves opening your mind to some of the lessons in the Book of Love, the Bible.  You don't need to read or believe the rest of it, but the following passages might be of help in learning how to express true love to others:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her"  (Ephesians 5:25)

In other words, husbands need to express love for their wives in a selfless, serving, sacrificial manner.  I'm pretty sure that God would want wives to likewise love their husbands.

"... husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hates his own flesh, but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we [Christians] are members of His body." (Ephesians 5:28-30)

I've always chuckled as I read this verse, because Paul here is playing on the vanity of men.  Come on guys, I'm sure most of you have struck a pose in the mirror many times!  You've either checked out your hair or looked at what effect a workout (hopefully) had on you.  But all this passage is saying is that you need to also get your eyes off of yourself and onto the love and care of your wife.

"To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband."  (Ephesians 5:33)

Even though these last few passages have been geared toward married couples, it is my hope that believers and non-believers have been encouraged by learning about true love and how to live it out with all people, not just their spouse.  There's no question that our world would be a drastically better place if each one of us would strive to show just one act of true love per day.

The Blame Game

I've always found it interesting since I've become a Christian to notice how some people who want nothing to do with God in their everyday lives suddenly decide to blame Him when something goes wrong.

A few years ago, I was watching the news one night during the annual wildfire season that always strikes southern California.  I was surprised to hear the reaction of one homeowner who had just lost his home as he mentioned God along the lines of, 'If God was real he wouldn't have let this happen!'  The expression on his face and his tone of voice was one of defiance and anger.  It was pretty clear to me that he was one of those kinds of people I described above.

When I get angry about something (and yes, Christians DO get angry, although they try to restrict it to the "righteous anger" that Jesus talks about, i.e. those things that displease God as well), I usually say, "Ah, man!" or "Aw, crap!" instead of blaming God or Jesus for my misfortune.  We humans are the ones who destroyed the perfectly good relationship that God originated with us in the Garden of Eden, so I'd rather be mad at them than at God.  I also don't say "Geez" or "Gosh" because these are derivatives of "Jesus" and "God" that I find too many Christians use without realizing that they are really affronts to God.

More interesting to me is how people claiming to be agnostics or atheists will use "God" or "Jesus Christ" as derogatory terms or in a derogatory statement when they are angry about something.  Why are they even mentioning the names of beings they claim not to believe in?  By doing so, they are contradicting what they claim to believe, and it would make more sense for them to use four-letter derogatory terms instead.

I realized only a few years ago why it is so instinctive for humans to think that God's has a last name when they get angry or why shouting out to Jesus at the top of one's lungs is often their first reaction upon striking their finger with a hammer.  It's because God once gave a commandment to people saying, according to one translation,

"Do not misuse the name of the Lord your God, because the Lord will punish anyone who misuses His name." (Exodus 20: 7, HCSB)

Once that command was given (along with several others), people were now accountable to God in this respect.  If they broke this command, or "sinned", they were now guilty before God whereas before they were not.  (The book of Romans, Chapter 7, verses 7-12 explains this concept in detail.)

Now the Bible also describes how there is an enemy of God who wants us to screw up every chance we have to be reconciled to and forgiven by God through Jesus.  Why?  So that we can face the same eternal punishment as he already knows he's going to face after the Day of Judgement.  He wants to drag us into destruction along with him, much like how Hitler dragged the German nation into destruction rather than signing a peace agreement that would have saved thousands of lives and many historical landmarks and treasures.  He is named Satan and also goes by the title of "devil".  He is also known as the "accuser", the one who accuses men before God for their sins against God:

"The salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Messiah have now come, because the accuser of our brothers has been thrown out:  the one who accuses them before our God day and night." (Revelation 12: 10)

I've learned through observation and experience that Satan is a masterful theologian of deceit who has had thousands of years to perfect his twisting of the Bible in order to drag people into sin (sin = thoughts, words, or deeds that anger God or are contrary to His will).  It is very apparent in the book of Job that Satan has a primary role in testing humans to see whether or not they will take the low road of getting angry at God and thereby sinning against Him.

One way that Satan does this is by appealing to the sin nature that we are all born with and possess until the day that we get forgiven through the salvation offered by God through Jesus Christ.  This sin nature is the one we have inherited from Adam and Eve that naturally wants to rebel against God.  This is why it is very easy for non-believers to use the terms "God" and "Jesus Christ" when they get angry.

And although believers no longer possess a nature that wants to sin, even though they have been reborn and have a new nature since the Spirit of God now dwells in them (Romans 7:13-8:11), they can still succumb to the same urge to curse God because of the sinful body and world they still live in.

In either case, the act of "[misusing] the name of the Lord your God" by cursing His name or using it in vain (i.e. saying it in casual conversation outside of actually seeking Him or calling out to Him) adds a sense of guilt to the non-believer and believer alike that deep inside - either consciously or subconsciously - makes that person feel as though now that they've degraded God in this manner, God will no longer accept them if they actually were to want to come to Him.

When God was getting through to me in my early twenties, in the back of my mind I didn't think God would accept me because of all the bad that I had done, including the horrendously obscene trucker-mouth I had used to curse God and use His name in vain for most of those twenty-odd years.  Fortunately, Satan didn't win that battle in my life because I realized that God accepts all who come to Him seeking forgiveness through Jesus, regardless of appearance or any degree of past wrongdoing.

What I have learned within the past two years is how those thoughts inciting us to sin are whispered into our minds (not our ears, or else we would know those thoughts are not our own) by none other than our accuser before God, Satan.  If you want to read a remarkable book about things like how Satan works against us, read "What God Wishes Christian Knew About Christianity" by Bill Gillham.

If you doubt this above argument about why I believe that it is so instinctive for humans to curse God or to use His name in vain, ask yourself this:  Why, when people get angry, don't they instinctively say "Oh, Buddha!" or "Oh, Mohammed!" or "Oh, Satan!" when they curse?  Why do people have to consciously develop the habit of saying "Aw, man!" or "Aw, crap!" in order to override the natural tendency to curse God?  Perhaps there's some force opposing God at work in us, say, an accuser who wants to create division between us and Him?

So now that you know a very plausible explanation of the reason behind the game of blaming God, maybe realize instead that it is a combination of our desire to sin and the helping hand of our accuser that is truly to blame for our misfortune.

Do you need "church"? Part II

I guess I decided to tease you by waiting until this post before giving my thoughts about whether or not you need "church". Actually, I didn't want the first part to be longer than it already is! So here goes.

If you're a willing, open-minded non-believer, going to a four-walled church might be a good way to learn about God as I mentioned in Part I, but provided only that you're in a good environment. It would be better for you at this point to ask God to make Himself known and real to you, then to ask Him if this is the time for you to look for a "good" church (i.e. biblically grounded) - and of course to ask Him to lead you to such a church! God will lead your heart to the right place for you if you open yourself up to Him and trust Him. I'm confident that He wouldn't lead you to a spiritual morgue like the one I was forced to attend as a kid!

If you're a believer, I firmly believe that no matter what kind of perceived or actual experiences or hang-ups you've had at a particular church, you need to first attempt to find and become a part of another one. And I don't mean make that building the center of your faith, but rather the center of your fellowship.

When Christians decide to shy away from other believers, iron can't sharpen iron. Disagreement and debate and even conflict are the root causes of growth, and sitting at home in your bell jar on a Sunday morning makes you a weaker Christian if you aren't at least spending that time in prayer and Bible reading. If you're spending that time shining your car or reading the financial headlines instead, then your relationship with God throughout the week is probably not a priority at any point, either. And the resulting dryness of your spiritual life and therefore life overall - hand-in-hand with your increasing selfishness and desire for worldly things - can come as no surprise.

Also, by shying away, Satan has you right where he wants you. His favorite tactic is to divide and conquer the body of Christ, and he has succeeded marvelously by making countless Christians think they don't need regular fellowship with a body of believers at or through a local church. What often follows is what I alluded to above, and that is substituting fellowship with pursuing worldly things that have left far too many Christians wondering why their lives aren't anywhere near as satisfying as they could be.

Far more often than not, Christians who avoid attending a local church often end up being a Christian by title only, and not by their impact for Christ on the world around them.

However, some Christians who have had truly frustrating if not severely damaging experiences in a four-walled church still need to attempt to seek fellowship. Seeking this in what I call the "true" church, or with other believers in the body of Christ outside of a four-walled church, is better than nothing at all. These believers could start a home Bible study, or they could attend one hosted by someone else. It is often in a small, close-knit environment with other wounded Christians that they can feel open to share what might have gotten them ostracized from a four-walled, or congregational church.

So really, I firmly believe that everyone needs "church", but frankly for a small few believers this may be best achieved outside the large, four-walled congregational kind that has a label attached to it like "Lutheran" or "Anglican" or "Pentecostal" or "Catholic".

What all people ultimately need, however, is to be part of the body of Christ, that church that extends world-wide across all cultures and boundaries. And again, a person becomes a part of this body once they've gotten right with God, which results from asking Jesus to forgive and cleanse them of their sins, which then re-establishes their relationship with God. Such a "saved" person is then known as a Christian.

And whether a person decides to meet with other members of that body in a congregational church with some fancy label or title or simply in someone's living room should result from earnest prayer and waiting for God's answer on the part of a believer. This should not result from peer pressure, but strictly from what one is firmly convinced that God is speaking to them.

My concern is again with those who say they are Christian but who never make the effort to fellowship anywhere with any other Christians, or at least to extend their fellowship beyond, say, their family. Christians MUST make the effort to be willing to trust God by stepping out and fellowshipping in a broader context. Perhaps you need to attend that home Bible study group that your friend or neighbor told you about, or that you read about on a poster or on the internet.

Whatever means you choose to fellowship, you become like a lake that has a stream flowing into it and another flowing out of it. The new experiences you have with different believers is like fresh water flowing in, used by God to bring about cleansing and change in your life, and this forces the selfishness and worldliness away like the stream flowing out.

However, refusing to fellowship at all, or to not extend your fellowship beyond family makes you like a lake with no inlet or outlet stream. There is no freshness in your spiritual life, so after a while the algae and weeds begin to kill your spirit, and the waters of your spiritual life and therefore your life overall eventually stagnate and die.

So the most important question is really not whether or not you need church, but rather whether or not you need fellowship with other people who believe in Jesus. Although I believe the latter is best achieved in a four-walled building, it is obvious throughout the entire body of New Testament scripture - especially in the book of Acts - that regular fellowship in some kind of group setting is crucial.

Otherwise, you are at the mercy of the devil and your spiritual life will stagnate to the point of no longer being effective for Christ. And not being of effect for Christ means that your existence on this planet is essentially a waste.

Do you need "church"? Part I

I have a religious uncle, who, a few years back was lamenting about the moral condition of a non-believing cousin of mine. Knowing that I was a Christian (though not in favor of religion, which is trying to please God through man-made rules and institutions), he felt he could share the frustration on his heart to my cousin while in my presence by lamenting to him, "You really need church!"

When I was a non-believer, the last thing I would have liked to hear from anyone is being told that I needed church! Growing up, I was exposed to a very religious environment where people showed up to this particular church building on Sundays looking as though it was the absolute last place they wanted to be. Then at one point during the service, they would drop a money envelope into a tray that was passed around.

The people, including my parents, seemed to have the idea that if they showed up just often enough and gave just enough money, this would somehow make things right between them and God. No document or teaching - biblical or non - was ever brought up to affirm that these acts would produce this result. In other words, there was no specific percentage of attendance or amount of money revealed that would guarantee that God would love and forgive them. Nevertheless, these spiritually lifeless corpses robotically showed up, sat through each service, and gave their money with about as much passion and excitement as, well, a kid like me being forced to attend a dry, boring, spiritually dead church!

Now, how do you think my cousin would have responded if my uncle had succeeded in convincing him that he needed "church"? Especially if he showed up in a spiritual morgue just like the one I had to attend as a kid? He would have rejected and mocked God for the rest of his life, assuming that believing and following God would drain the life out of him like it did to the people attending that church.

Do non-believers really need "church"? For that matter, do Christians really need "church"?

First of all, to clarify, what exactly is "church"? Well, to the religious person trying to please God based upon his/her own efforts, it's a four-walled building, usually adorned with some impressive steeple and ornate furnishings to try to prove to outsiders just how spiritual they think they are. To the Christian, however, Jesus explains how the church is His "bride", that it is the world-wide body of believers in Jesus of which He and He alone is the Head. So the church, according to what Jesus says in the Bible, is the bride of Christ. He is so committed to His bride that He was willing to lay down His life for her.

So if this is the case, then church in the truest sense is not restricted to a building. Whenever Christians meet to talk about God, or pray to Him, or to worship Him through songs, it can be said that church is 'in session'. It also doesn't matter what time of day it is and what day of the week it is. Where two or more are gathered in Jesus' name, according to the Bible, Jesus says He is (spiritually) there in the midst of them.

With this understanding in mind of what church actually is, unless someone has put their faith in Jesus (asked Him to forgive them of their sins - "save" them - and to become the Lord of their lives), being told that they need "church" isn't the answer to their problems. Jesus is the answer. By accepting Jesus (putting their faith in Him), a person becomes part of the world-wide church or "body" (not building) of believers in Christ, and Jesus alone is their Head - the only One they need to come to with their problems, and not some priest, pastor, or other self-appointed "mediator" between that person and God.

So what's the point of going to church, then? Well, for a willing non-believer who has been invited (not coerced, forced, or dragged) to a non-religious church building who is presented with what the Bible has to say - and not some set of man-made rules and instructions and rituals and doctrines - that person may come to the knowledge that Jesus is the only way that they can get right with God, or "saved" from having to pay the penalty for their sins (their offences against God). Not by following a set of religious practices.

For the believer, the practice of going to church is surprisingly a very strong bone of contention within the body of Christ. I have some relatives whose relationship with their Lord is deeper and more meaningful than most Christians who regularly attend a four-walled church. I have yet other relatives who call themselves Christians - and I believe they are - but make the excuse of not going to church because of some hurt (perceived or actual) in the past in the form of a church experience where people claiming to be Christians acted in ways that indicated otherwise. Or they get too busy trying (in vain) to find happiness by living their lives like non-believers - following their ways and advice - that they no longer have the desire (even though they have the time) to attend the excellent, well-grounded churches in their area.

Why do I go to church? I realize that since I've placed my faith in Jesus, He has cleansed me of all my sins - past, present and future. This means a realization that I don't have to "perform" to earn His love and forgiveness by doing things like showing up at a church. If I miss a church service, I know that God's love for me hasn't changed a single bit and I haven't lost my salvation (i.e. I'm still forgiven) and my faith doesn't hang in the balance. So I don't go because I have to, but because I get to.

Mainly, I go to church because of the other Christians. I go for fellowship with people more than fellowship with God, because a Christian should be spending the rest of their week in fellowship with God - at work, school, and play. Sunday should be merely the "icing on the cake" of their relationship with God, but too many believers make church the "cake" itself. And the cake doesn't taste too good - doesn't satisfy as much - if they've relied on the songs, and/or sermon, and/or time with other believers to be their sole time with God during the entire week. Dessert doesn't nourish the spirit like a full-course meal!

Anyhow, by hearing of the triumphs and tragedies of other believers, I can celebrate and mourn with them and thereby form strong bonds with them. I realize that if I think I'm going through something unique, there's at least one person there who's gone down the same path and I can learn a great deal from his experience, and more importantly that person can pray for me in my situation. My strongest friendships have resulted from people I have met at church.

Far too many Christians go to church because they think they have to. Often, they're the type who are concerned with image, who worry more about what other people think instead of what God thinks. I've found many people with this mindset to be the "Sunday Christian", putting on a facade on Sundays then spending the rest of the week living no differently than the typical non-Christian - chasing money and career, buying the toys, and living selfishly and for today. They simply show up on Sundays to spiritually 'fuel up' (on cake) and give everyone else the impression that they've got everything all together, spiritually and otherwise. Sadly, it is this type of Christian that some of my friends and relatives use as an excuse to not attend a church any more.

So, do you need "church"? That is, should you go to church? I've done enough writing for now. Check Part II of this post for my thoughts on this crucial question.

Belief versus trust, Part I

God has been really challenging me the past few months. In particular, He is continually speaking to my heart about the need to trust Him. (As an aside, He only ever spoke audibly to those He entrusted with the writing of the Scriptures that make up the Bible. Since that time, He has "spoken" to believers through other means, like a person or a situation. Christians often refer to getting a revelation from God as Him having "spoken to my heart".)

One thing He has made me notice a lot more in order for me to realize this need is reminders of all those times that I haven't trusted Him, all those times where I've become worried and even scared about how certain things in my life will work out. I've learned that whenever I become this way, it is a sure sign that I actually don't trust God to work my situation out.

He has also made me realize that this lack of trust is a plague amongst Christians in the western world and not just a problem unique to me. I've realized just how much I get caught up in the mindset that I'm supposed to be the provider of my family, how I'm supposed to work out problems at home and on the job. But whenever we're facing a difficult financial or home or work situation, the Bible emphasizes over and over and over and over again how we need to just stop, take a breather, and ask God for His wisdom and insight in that situation. We need to trust Him to be our ultimate provider and for Him to provide us with the answers to our problems.

Far too often, Christians don't stop or back away long enough - or even at all - to find out if the idea they have to handle a situation is even the right one, "right" meaning what God would have them do. For a while a few years back, it was a Christian fad to wear the "WWJD" bracelet, which acted as a reminder for a Christian in a difficult situation to stop, take a breather, and ask what Jesus would do in that situation. (The wiser instruction would have been to ask Jesus what to do, not try to imagine what He would do, which implies figuring it out ourselves instead of relying upon Him.)

Anyhow, my point is that like this fad, it seems that the body of Christ - i.e. those who claim to believe in Jesus, or Christians - particularly in the western world, has gotten back into the same habit that has served to make us as indistinguishable from non-believers as we've been all too often throughout history: we've gotten back to the mindset where we believe in Jesus for our salvation, that He has saved us from having to pay the penalty of our sins so that we can spend eternity with Him in heaven, but yet don't trust Him (i.e. God) with our lives while here on earth.

Some Christians might argue with me on this point, that if you have belief then trust is just a natural outgrowth. But both are an act of the will. We must choose to believe that God exists and that His claims in the Bible are for real, and then we must choose to trust God with the situations in our lives. This trust doesn't 'just happen' no more than belief 'just happens'.

To put this another way, whenever a non-believer reaches the point of realizing that unless they "get right" with God by being forgiven of all they've thought, said, and done to offend Him (our "sins"), then they will be punished for our sins for an eternity, often they're encouraged by a Christian to "pray a prayer" of forgiveness in order to be "saved", or to attain "salvation". Often, in that prayer, the person is asked by the Christian who is helping them to pray if they're willing to make Jesus their "Lord and Savior".

My point is that Christians seem to have no problem with making Jesus their Savior (trusting Him for their salvation), but they struggle immensely throughout the rest of their earthly lives with trusting Him to be their Lord - to put Him in charge of their lives so that He can show them how to get through the day-to-day, moment-to-moment situations that they face.

So why is this? Why are Christians so willing to trust Jesus for their "hell insurance" yet so stubbornly defiant or oblivious about trusting Him with finances, relationships, temptation struggles, etc? Here are the top reasons:

1. Old habits die hard - Especially if one is saved at a later age, the programming that s/he has received about being self-sufficient from the time of their birth is extremely difficult to change. It doesn't happen overnight, and only results from daily asking God to show them how to rely upon God instead of upon themselves any longer.
2. We're afraid of what others might think - If a non-Christian friend gives you advice about money or relationships, it's often true that the Bible's advice will be to do the opposite. Until one is grounded in their faith (which is the direct result of one's time spent reading the Bible, praying, and hanging out with other grounded Christians), it's very difficult to go against the grain. Christians in this day in age unfortunately worry far too much about what other people think than to obey what God wants them to do.
3. We think we know better - I've heard far too many stories about Christians who are convinced that God has spoken to them about doing this or that, then they do the opposite because God's way seems too illogical, uncomfortable, inconvenient, or will supposedly take too long. So off they go, marrying the first person who comes along instead of waiting for God's best, or buying that home too soon or buying a far bigger home than what is needed, or extending themselves financially far beyond what they earn, etc. What's even worse is when the Christian then gets mad at God when the foolishness of their plan blows up in their face.
4. We don't spend time getting to know God - And with lack of knowledge comes lack of understanding about how He thinks and operates. The greatest reason for the slow death that the western Christian church is dying right now is that we are too caught up with living life the way non-Christians do that we don't have time to spend with God, which occurs through reading the Bible, praying, and spending time with other Christians. The devil has us right where he wants us - too busy chasing that bigger/newer/more cool _____, or spending our time and money on leisurely, self-centered pursuits instead of getting to know God. And because we don't know and understand Him, we're unable to explain the Gospel - the "good news" about Jesus - in a way that's attractive and compelling to the non-believer. The non-believer is told that they need to "go to church", for example, rather than how they could experience a mind-blowing personal relationship with their Creator and the Creator of the entire universe who will provide them with a life and an eternity beyond anything they could ever imagine.
   

Here's what I do now whenever I get worried about a situation or think I have a better plan. I simply stop, take a breather, and ask for God's wisdom and insight in that situation. As soon as I'm tempted to think that my family's financial situation won't work out the way I want it to, for example, I go back to all those countless times where God never let us fall short. I also force myself to keep doing what I'm doing if God hasn't made things clear to me and wait until He leads me to do differently. I also ask Him if the way I want it to go is His best for us or not, and to give me the patience to let Him work it out the way He sees fit.

As soon as I encounter a home or work situation that stumps me, I throw up a little prayer (when I remember to do so!) and ask God to show me the way through it. If it's a situation that doesn't have a deadline, I back away and wait for Him to give me the answer or to work out the situation Himself.

In part II of this topic, I'll give some specific examples of how trusting God in different situations instead of my own ideas and so-called "wisdom" worked out for the better.