Almost asleep ...

I can't write what I'm planning to without getting a little personal with you all - well, a lot personal.  The past few weeks I've been caught up with the whole debt crisis thing in Europe while watching the value of my not-so-bountiful Retirement Savings Plan dwindle more and more.  Even as a Christian I've found it hard not to get caught up in the whole idea of worrying about the financial future.  I seriously wonder what I will be able to draw upon to pay the bills once I'm into my early sixties.

My struggle as a Christian goes beyond the financial aspect, however.  My bigger struggle is the spiritual aspect, namely that Jesus basically commanded his followers not to worry about anything, ANYTHING - that if God takes care of birds and flowers he will surely take care of us.  Sometimes it's very difficult to believe this in your heart as well as your mind.  But I'm convinced that people living in even the most dire of straits - famine, genocide, etc. - experience the hand of God when they cry out for his help and provision.  I've read about too many stories to this effect to begin to doubt it.

But this is about my life 20 or so years down the road, not the present.  Sure, I'm convinced about his current provision, but what about when I'm not as strong and healthy to show up at a job every day?  That's where the worry has crept in.

So with these "heavies" upon my heart, I did what any sincere believer should:  I brought these things before God.  But most of the answers I've received this week are absolutely what I did not expect.  First of all, I've received many ideas about how I could structure my RSP in terms of how much to keep as cash, how much to put into mutual funds vs. stocks, etc.  I've even asked him to reveal other investment "vehicles" that might be far less risky than the stock market.  Now I just need the faith - and the discipline - to put these ideas into action and get over the temptation to be greedy, to be content with gains of a few percent a year instead of the much riskier yet higher potential gains (or losses) that I could experience by keeping things the way they are.  Right now, the losses have unfortunately been the norm.

But what has been much more heavy upon my heart - what I did not expect - is what the book of Ecclesiastes refers to as "vanity", or "absolute futility" in another translation of the Bible.  I have looked at how people everywhere around me - Christian and non - are passionately in pursuit of ... themselves.  It seems as though their main goal at the end of the work day, whether working in or out of the home, is to have a time of peace and comfort.  To get the kids out of their hair so they can relax.  To get the yard looking up to snuff for another season of barbeques and lazy summer evenings with friends and family.  To spend time on Facebook catching up with people, or simply to surf the net aimlessly looking at 'stuff'.

It's one thing to have been noticing these things in everyone else's lives at every single turn, but it's been much more humbling to have been noticing them in my own.  Some may think that someone like me writing a blog like this is somehow super-spiritual, "in" with God in a way that others aren't, with my life all sorted out and idyllic.  The only reason I have anything to write month after month, however, is simply because my life is NOT like this!  This week, I've seen with eyes more clear than ever about how much I want the same things as most other people.  But the "big heavy" I've felt is how in doing so, in spending so much time and energy trying to get financial and personal ducks in a row, I'm NOT spending time involved in the lives of others.

Now God is so gracious.  He hasn't revealed these things to me with some huge guilt burden that makes me feel rotten or like an idiot.  Instead, it's almost as though God has been wanting to show me what's more important in life so that I don't get any more caught  up in worrying and planning than I already am.  It's like he's been trying to tell me to pursue "his kingdom and his righteousness" (Matthew 6:33) and not to worry about my life and the true desires of my heart being taken care of, because he'll do that in good order on his terms and according to his timing.

So what have I realized or noticed specifically?  I've thought about how I sometimes worry about paying the bills when some people can't even pay a single one of theirs.  Or about my house when so many on this planet don't even have one, or one that offers little shelter or security.  Or some of my sore joints when I could instead be a cripple or have a debilitating disease.

Basically, I've noticed how needy so many people are but how so few of us with affluence and abundance and good health are willing to help them.  In response to this, I've been struggling with what I could do to help them.

Now this is an overwhelming thing to think about.  Hey, I was looking for investment ideas, not to be burdened with thoughts of all the human-induced suffering of this world, resulting from the greed, selfishness, and other sins imposed by people on other people!  I was looking for answers to help me, not to be made aware of the problems of others!

I must admit that I'm in a very selfish phase right now where it's been very hard to look away from my situation and to even take time for others.  I'm almost done working toward a particular certification for the industry I'm working in, there are upcoming birthdays in my family, we're excited about plans for a summer holiday, and so forth.  To see if my neighbor needs help cleaning his yard or to take the time to talk to a stranger just so they don't feel alone is more of a burden to me lately than staying in my comfort zone and dealing with me, me, me.

So maybe this is why this week I got the answers I did regarding my plea to rescue my retirement finances.  Maybe God is trying to tell me that I'm wasting my time worrying about whether I'll actually be alive twenty-some years down the road, and instead that I should be more focused on living, loving, and serving in the here-and-now since there is absolutely no guarantee of being alive even five minutes from now!

So why did I title this post "almost asleep"?  Because I realize that the church - the body of believers in Jesus Christ - in our prosperous Western world is made up of far too many believers just like me.  Oh yes, we go through phases like this where God opens our eyes to the plight of others all around us.  But then we - and I - get lulled back into ourselves once again.  We get lulled by all the eye-candy this world has to offer, thinking that we need more of it, so that we'll be distracted from being a positive impact in changing this world for the better.

And who does the Bible say is behind this world system?  None other than God's enemy, the devil.  One of his most effective tactics throughout history has been distraction, getting Christians away from serving the needs of others in order to serve the supposed "needs" of self.  The Western church is almost asleep and no signs of a wake-up call for it are on the horizon as far as I've been able to tell.  In fact, the past year or so I've been really discouraged about its state and its lessening impact with time.  It gets lulled evermore into being an ineffective social club of indifferent members.  But I can only point at it so much without also pointing at me.

But despite this, I realize that the transformation of a body is the eventual result of the transformation of some of its individual members.  I know that God routinely stirs the pot of my life and that of my wife so that we don't become stagnant.  God has always spoken to the hearts of individuals like he's been doing with me lately, but what will I do with these realizations?  And how about you, fellow believer?

I don't know what I'll do, exactly.  I've been hoping that God will stir me enough to get off the couch and at the very least perform random acts of kindness toward others.  (This is far easier for my wife, by the way, so she's often an inspiration in this regard.)  Maybe I'll actually work toward starting that men's group that's been on my mind for months now instead of assuming it won't be well received (another of Satan's favorite tactics:  doubt).

In any case, I too have been lulled almost asleep more times than I'd like to admit.  But it's at times of realization like this that I and those of you who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ need to do something about it - something simple - and then be open and selfless enough to allow God to take us to the next step.  Jesus was all about living for everybody else's needs, and voila - his Father always took care of his.  Go figure!  We just don't want the life of simplicity that Jesus lived.  We still think we need the bigger house and the new car and the latest gadgets, that we'll somehow get "bored" if we live for others and no longer just our desires.  Or worse yet, we assume that by doing so we'll be taken advantage of.

Do you think perhaps that Jesus' life might be an example of how we ought to be living our lives?  I think so, and I pray that not only I but any believer reading this will be convinced and motivated to live the same.

What "religion" are you?

Several times in my life I've had to fill out forms - on paper or online - that ask me what "religion" I am.  I can't help but be tempted to write "Non-religious Christian" because I can't stand the concept of religion nor do I practice a religion.

Now how's that for a contradiction in terms!  How can one possibly claim to be a Christian yet also non-religious?  Isn't Christianity a "religion", and therefore to be a Christian means you're "religious?"  'How blasphemous', you might be thinking.  Or is it?

There's a reason why it's called the "Christian faith", because a religion and a faith are two entirely different things.  People who have not put their trust in Jesus Christ to save them wrongly call it a "religion" because they have a false understanding of who God is and how people are supposed to relate to Him.  However, people who have put their trust in Jesus Christ to save them - Christians - rightly call it a "faith".  They have realized that the salvation given to them through this faith is the "gift of God", that it can't be earned by anything you do (Ephesians 2:8-10).  Thus, they have been invited and accepted into a relationship - not a religion - with the one true God through Jesus Christ and Him alone.

I've come to realize that a religion is a man-made system designed to try to please their god (or gods).  It's full of rules and regulations and ordinances, most of which have no origin in the Bible.  It's also not a very fun system to try to follow, because failure to live up to its standards is constant and therefore it's a great cause of demoralization.  All too often, there is a push to get other people "converted" in a vain attempt to please or appease their god(s) and thus feel more important and better about themselves. 

Sadly, many denominations and movements claiming to be Christian are in fact religions far removed from what God intended Christianity to be.  They go by different names:  Catholicism, Anglicanism, Lutheranism, and so forth.  Then there are the cultic movements, like the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Mormons (Latter Day Saints).  God did not invent denominations or movements; rather, He intended Christianity to be a way to personally relate to Him through Jesus Christ and Him alone - no human intervention required.  However, people unwilling to accept His grace extended through Jesus Christ thought they knew better, and viola - the birth of modern religion.

Unfortunately, a lot of the atheism and agnosticism in this world today stem from those who have felt the pressure to convert to a particular religion.  These mindsets are compounded when these people witness the failure of religious followers to live up to religious standards, such as practicing what they preach.  And when these religious followers fail (not if, but when), they assume - or are told by their religious leaders - that their god(s) will fail to love them.

How the Bible paints a different picture!  If only these people would look past man-made religion and instead to the Bible where they can be told not only of the reality of the one true God, but also His amazing love for them, available without a single religious act on their part!

Here's what the Bible has to say about the Christian faith:

"There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope at your calling; one Lord [that is, Jesus], one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all."  (Ephesians 4:4-5)

What this passage implies is that the "one" Christian faith is therefore the only faith that exists.  It is one of those passages that is very exclusive, the kind that annoys and even greatly angers those outside the Christian faith.  In other words, it implies that there is no Muslim "faith", or Buddhist "faith", or Hindu "faith" and so on.  In reality, these are all religions:  the "one God" is revealed only in the Bible and in no other bodies of scripture, and therefore they are all worshipping false gods.  Also, they all have strict, man-made standards that have created a schizophrenic god or gods who can snap and go crazy on their followers at any moment and, worst of all, deny them passage to eternal paradise.

The appeal of Christianity is so much greater:

"Come to Me [Jesus], all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  (Matthew 11:28, emphasis added)

"Everyone the Father [God] gives Me [Jesus] will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will never cast out." (John 6:37, emphasis added)

"... [God] is patient with you, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9, emphasis added)

"For God loved the world in this way:  He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16, emphasis added)

"For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift - not from works [religious effort] so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9, emphasis added)

I don't know about you, but I much prefer the "one" true faith that accepts everyone - people of all races and colors and, yes, all religious backgrounds - and doesn't require us to be cleaned up and perfect before approaching the "one" true God and humbly and sincerely asking for His mercy to forgive and cleanse and save us.  How about you?

Belief versus trust, Part II

Here are some specific examples of how trusting God in different situations instead of my own ideas and so-called "wisdom" worked out for the better. But first, consider the following passage from Proverbs 3: 5-6:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths."

EXAMPLE 1: I had been living on my own for about eight months when I realized that I should be putting my rent money towards paying down a mortgage instead of the mortgage of the person I was living with. After viewing nearly three dozen condo properties with a realtor over a one-week period, I viewed one that I had a very good feeling about. The location, although perfect, was in a so-so part of downtown, but everything else - especially the price - was excellent.

Being entirely new to the whole real-estate-purchase thing, I was told that I now needed to put an offer on the property and some money down. So I decided that I wanted possession as soon as possible, but to give the current owners time to move I asked for two weeks. But not realizing that I should have been more aggressive with the money down, I only put $1,000 down.

The meeting with their realtor and mine, including the current owners and I, was set for a Wednesday night. But within only a couple of hours before the meeting, my realtor phoned me with a concerned voice to inform me that another offer had been made, accompanied by $5,000 down. However, these people were looking for possession two-and-a-half months down the road as opposed to my two weeks. Nevertheless, based upon her experience, my realtor was pretty sure that the owners would go for the bigger money down than anything else.

So there I was, if I recall correctly, at a Bible study during a break when I got this news. Perhaps the recollection of what happened next is sketchy not only because 11 years have elapsed, but also because my mind was likely obsessed with whose offer would be better. So I'm not sure if I told the others there about what had transpired so they could pray for me, but in any case after the study ended, I hopped into my car and headed for the meeting downtown.

At the time, I had been "saved", i.e. a Christian, for maybe four years to that point, but I had only gotten serious about pursuing the Christian walk only a couple of years before. I was stuck in old habits like self-reliance that had me wondering how I could manipulate the situation and use smooth and persuasive words to make my offer the better one. But I was also at a point of incredible personal growth due to diving into the Bible, praying, and becoming friends with other believers. So I was also not wanting to resort to old habits, but I didn't know how to let God work this situation out.

So upon entering the car, the old habits of thinking how to manipulate and persuade were causing me to almost panic at the thought of losing out on this piece of property. But then all of a sudden, in an instant, I suddenly realized that if God wanted me to have this property, it would be a done deal and He would give me the words to speak so that my offer was accepted. Conversely, if He knew something bad about this deal that I didn't, I reasoned that He would let the other peoples' offer be accepted.

I was alarmed by this sudden change of perspective; looking back, I wonder if it wasn't the prayers of others in this situation that might have brought it about. But it wasn't a bad kind of alarm, because the rest of my drive can only be described by that verse in Philippians 4:7 that talks about the peace from God that surpasses all understanding. In fact, I was so at peace that God would take care of things that I was no longer the least bit upset at the possibility of my offer being rejected.

As I walked through the doors and entered the meeting, I was surprised to not see anyone representing the people who had made the other offer; I only saw the current owners and their realtor. When I asked when they might arrive, my realtor gladly announced that my offer was the better one because I wanted such quick possession. I almost couldn't contain my excitement! This was perhaps the biggest lesson to that point of my young Christian walk of how just leaving everything up to God was better than any scheme I could come up with. I didn't even have to perform one act or say one word of manipulation or persuasion! God took care of everything for me.

Not even six years later, my wife and I sold that condo after making a 40% return, and this provided a sizeable down payment for the property that we now own.

EXAMPLE 2: After getting serious about my commitment to Jesus in 1997, I naturally wanted to meet and marry a woman who was also a Christian at least as passionate as I about her walk with God. After pretty much exhausting the limited possibilities at the smaller church I was attending by early 1999, I kind of mused to myself (and perhaps others, if I recall) that if I was going to meet anyone, it probably wouldn't be at the church I was attending, or at least not for a number of years!

Not long after this, I was at a Wednesday night Bible study for college and career aged people when in walked a fine-looking young lady who had never been there before. That and her very attractive personality drew me to her right away. I was even more intrigued (and surprised) by how she laughed at all my attempts at humor.

Anyhow, my approach to Christian dating had been much the same as how I had approached dating when I was a non-Christian (minus the sexual sin). I was concerned about getting to the altar, and never mind this "friend" stuff. So as a result, my impatience was leading me to consider some young ladies who weren't exactly my type or who were at a totally different place in their walk with God, some calling themselves "Christian" who lived a lifestyle that was anything but! Fortunately, God gave me the strength to not give in to their seduction and I thereby avoided more things to regret.

For some reason, I had resolved not long before I met my bride-to-be that next time I was going to let God direct things. I was going to just get to know ladies I was interested in strictly as friends and be totally casual about everything. I just didn't realize that the first lady I would try this with would end up being my wife!

So when she entered the picture around February 1999, I was so afraid to screw things up this time around that I limited my conversations with her after studies to only a few minutes. Then we would break the conversation off and rather nonchalantly say, "Well, see you next week."

But whenever she didn't show up, I would wonder if I'd ever see her again. And when she did and we'd talk afterwards, I'd find it harder with each passing time to end the conversation. But I was so afraid of screwing things up and being outside of God's will that I wouldn't even consider asking her to, say, go for a coffee.

So near the end of June 1999, about four months after our first conversation, we had a church service at the zoo in the city where we lived. An open-air tent was booked, but when I saw her walk in, I'll be the first to admit that things were a more than a little distracting! After the service, I made it a mission to not let her too far out of my sight because I couldn't wait to talk to her again. However, I lost track of her because my parents were there, and she began wandering the zoo with another group.

My mind was constantly on her that whole time until after an hour or so when her group and mine finally met up. We even have a group picture from that day that we still have framed. Now I was still afraid of making the wrong decision and screwing up God's plan for me, so no way was I going to ask her to break away from the crowd and do something alone with me. Besides that, such a move would have aroused too much curiosity!

So what did God do instead? Over the course of the next hour, the dozen or so people in our group decided to do other things. With dark rain clouds looming, many decided to head indoors or to leave altogether. Others got hungry while yet others got tired. Before we knew it - and I'll admit that I wasn't going to leave unless she did - this lady and I were the only ones left! So we hung around the zoo for a while, but then realized that now was the perfect time to ask if she wanted to leave the zoo and go get something to eat. She willingly obliged.

After we arrived back at the zoo parking lot at 10:30 that evening so she could get her car, I realized on the drive home that by refusing to force the issue and to leave this relationship in God's hands, things worked out in strange ways that I could have never imagined or concocted myself!

My wife and I have been married for over 9 years now, and I give God all the credit for setting us up and for bringing our marriage to where it is now.

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I could tell a few other great stories of how God has worked in my life and that of my family, but I hope these two are a great inspiration to give the control of your life into God's hands and no longer your own.

Belief versus trust, Part I

God has been really challenging me the past few months. In particular, He is continually speaking to my heart about the need to trust Him. (As an aside, He only ever spoke audibly to those He entrusted with the writing of the Scriptures that make up the Bible. Since that time, He has "spoken" to believers through other means, like a person or a situation. Christians often refer to getting a revelation from God as Him having "spoken to my heart".)

One thing He has made me notice a lot more in order for me to realize this need is reminders of all those times that I haven't trusted Him, all those times where I've become worried and even scared about how certain things in my life will work out. I've learned that whenever I become this way, it is a sure sign that I actually don't trust God to work my situation out.

He has also made me realize that this lack of trust is a plague amongst Christians in the western world and not just a problem unique to me. I've realized just how much I get caught up in the mindset that I'm supposed to be the provider of my family, how I'm supposed to work out problems at home and on the job. But whenever we're facing a difficult financial or home or work situation, the Bible emphasizes over and over and over and over again how we need to just stop, take a breather, and ask God for His wisdom and insight in that situation. We need to trust Him to be our ultimate provider and for Him to provide us with the answers to our problems.

Far too often, Christians don't stop or back away long enough - or even at all - to find out if the idea they have to handle a situation is even the right one, "right" meaning what God would have them do. For a while a few years back, it was a Christian fad to wear the "WWJD" bracelet, which acted as a reminder for a Christian in a difficult situation to stop, take a breather, and ask what Jesus would do in that situation. (The wiser instruction would have been to ask Jesus what to do, not try to imagine what He would do, which implies figuring it out ourselves instead of relying upon Him.)

Anyhow, my point is that like this fad, it seems that the body of Christ - i.e. those who claim to believe in Jesus, or Christians - particularly in the western world, has gotten back into the same habit that has served to make us as indistinguishable from non-believers as we've been all too often throughout history: we've gotten back to the mindset where we believe in Jesus for our salvation, that He has saved us from having to pay the penalty of our sins so that we can spend eternity with Him in heaven, but yet don't trust Him (i.e. God) with our lives while here on earth.

Some Christians might argue with me on this point, that if you have belief then trust is just a natural outgrowth. But both are an act of the will. We must choose to believe that God exists and that His claims in the Bible are for real, and then we must choose to trust God with the situations in our lives. This trust doesn't 'just happen' no more than belief 'just happens'.

To put this another way, whenever a non-believer reaches the point of realizing that unless they "get right" with God by being forgiven of all they've thought, said, and done to offend Him (our "sins"), then they will be punished for our sins for an eternity, often they're encouraged by a Christian to "pray a prayer" of forgiveness in order to be "saved", or to attain "salvation". Often, in that prayer, the person is asked by the Christian who is helping them to pray if they're willing to make Jesus their "Lord and Savior".

My point is that Christians seem to have no problem with making Jesus their Savior (trusting Him for their salvation), but they struggle immensely throughout the rest of their earthly lives with trusting Him to be their Lord - to put Him in charge of their lives so that He can show them how to get through the day-to-day, moment-to-moment situations that they face.

So why is this? Why are Christians so willing to trust Jesus for their "hell insurance" yet so stubbornly defiant or oblivious about trusting Him with finances, relationships, temptation struggles, etc? Here are the top reasons:

1. Old habits die hard - Especially if one is saved at a later age, the programming that s/he has received about being self-sufficient from the time of their birth is extremely difficult to change. It doesn't happen overnight, and only results from daily asking God to show them how to rely upon God instead of upon themselves any longer.
2. We're afraid of what others might think - If a non-Christian friend gives you advice about money or relationships, it's often true that the Bible's advice will be to do the opposite. Until one is grounded in their faith (which is the direct result of one's time spent reading the Bible, praying, and hanging out with other grounded Christians), it's very difficult to go against the grain. Christians in this day in age unfortunately worry far too much about what other people think than to obey what God wants them to do.
3. We think we know better - I've heard far too many stories about Christians who are convinced that God has spoken to them about doing this or that, then they do the opposite because God's way seems too illogical, uncomfortable, inconvenient, or will supposedly take too long. So off they go, marrying the first person who comes along instead of waiting for God's best, or buying that home too soon or buying a far bigger home than what is needed, or extending themselves financially far beyond what they earn, etc. What's even worse is when the Christian then gets mad at God when the foolishness of their plan blows up in their face.
4. We don't spend time getting to know God - And with lack of knowledge comes lack of understanding about how He thinks and operates. The greatest reason for the slow death that the western Christian church is dying right now is that we are too caught up with living life the way non-Christians do that we don't have time to spend with God, which occurs through reading the Bible, praying, and spending time with other Christians. The devil has us right where he wants us - too busy chasing that bigger/newer/more cool _____, or spending our time and money on leisurely, self-centered pursuits instead of getting to know God. And because we don't know and understand Him, we're unable to explain the Gospel - the "good news" about Jesus - in a way that's attractive and compelling to the non-believer. The non-believer is told that they need to "go to church", for example, rather than how they could experience a mind-blowing personal relationship with their Creator and the Creator of the entire universe who will provide them with a life and an eternity beyond anything they could ever imagine.
   

Here's what I do now whenever I get worried about a situation or think I have a better plan. I simply stop, take a breather, and ask for God's wisdom and insight in that situation. As soon as I'm tempted to think that my family's financial situation won't work out the way I want it to, for example, I go back to all those countless times where God never let us fall short. I also force myself to keep doing what I'm doing if God hasn't made things clear to me and wait until He leads me to do differently. I also ask Him if the way I want it to go is His best for us or not, and to give me the patience to let Him work it out the way He sees fit.

As soon as I encounter a home or work situation that stumps me, I throw up a little prayer (when I remember to do so!) and ask God to show me the way through it. If it's a situation that doesn't have a deadline, I back away and wait for Him to give me the answer or to work out the situation Himself.

In part II of this topic, I'll give some specific examples of how trusting God in different situations instead of my own ideas and so-called "wisdom" worked out for the better.